Perl's DBI->prepare_cached() ?
Another thing 64 bit integer support, or clarification what is expected to work.. does PDO::PARAM_INT allow 64 bit ints, even if PHP on 32 bit platforms don't have 64 bits.. ?!
"The suggestions about binding lists of values or whole statements are non-starters."
I dont think they are, as if RDBMs developers are getting involved they could add it to their own APIs, and therefore make it available in PDO. Only reason I see it hasn't been done before is just no low level prepared API for it.